Legend of the Fate Changer
by Tigerater
Summary: What would the Naruto storyline be like if Naruto had no chakra, but instead had reiatsu? Featuring good Sasuke, badass zanpaktou wielding Naruto and a fairly canon consistent plotline!
1. Prologue

**Yay! Fanfiction!**

**I don't happen to own Naruto or Bleach, strangely enough.**

It was a cold night in October when the Kyuubi attacked Konoha. Thousands of people died, civilians and shinobi alike. Then, out of the blue, the Yondaime Hokage appeared and teleported away with it. At the heroic cost of his own life, he sealed it away into a child.

This is what most people know about the attack of the Kyuubi. There is another side to this story, however, that only a select few know about.

The release of the Kyuubi occurred during the pregnancy of Kushina Uzumaki, who was with Minato Namikaze's child. This was forced by the appearance of a mysterious man who escaped with Kushina long enough to draw out the Kyuubi from her seal; for she was the Jinchuuriki of the Nine Tailed Demon Fox. The man then teleported in a spiral portal into Konoha, and then summoned the beast.

The 4th Hokage fought off the masked man, and then sealed it into Naruto Uzumaki- the product of Kushina's pregnancy. It was not sealed by any normal seal, however. Minato Namikaze had done the impossible three times that night. First off, he had summoned the Soul King- not just any god. The most powerful of all gods, whose very presence caused all matter to disintegrate. He pulled him off an entirely different universe in another dimension being the second. The third was by far the most impressive, and had the greatest impact on the world. He had _forced _the most powerful being to obey him.

Not knowing the power of his actions, he _made _the Soul King draw out a seal on his own child's stomach. Here is where the timeline departed from the norm entirely. With every touch, the soul Kings presence corrupted Naruto's plentiful chakra into reiatsu, the energy of the death gods, which had a knock-on effect on all of his chakra. His heart, not being able to accept the reiatsu died, and was reborn as a shinigami's.

The Kyuubi, having all been sealed into his tiny body howled and shrieked in pain as its entire body was entirely reconstructed as a powerful Vasto-Lorde. He then went into a deep hibernation.

The Fourth Hokage forced the Soul King to leave, and soon died next to his wife, having paid his soul and suffered a claw impaled into his chest. One drop of blood dripped onto Naruto's bawling face.

**Prologue is done. Now we can get into the really juicy bits!**

**Tiger**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1! Yay.**

**No, I don't own Bleach or Naruto.**

A 6 year old boy sat on top of the 3rd Hokage's desk, and was currently arguing passionately.

"Hokage-jiji!"

"I'm sorry Naruto. We tested you for any signs of chakra. Although your Chakra pathways are very large, it appears that they are empty for some reason. You can't do any jutsu without any chakra, and you can't enter the Academy if you can't do any jutsu."

"But I'll… learn how to do jutsu! I will become the most badass and epic shinobi ever!"

*sigh* "Naruto, I'll talk to the doctors. For now, though, I want you to go to your apartment."

The downtrodden looking boy walked out of the office, his face the image of dejection."

"_Hmmmm…" _thought the Hokage. _"This really is a very strange case. Medical jutsu has proved that it is impossible for humans to survive without any chakra at all. All civilians have chakra to a certain extent- only enough to survive, however. Young Naruto has no chakra at all- how is it that he is still alive? Is this due to the Kyuubi being sealed in him? No, that can't be. Kushina was an excellent shinobi, with incredible chakra reserves. What is this then? It makes no sense. Ah well. I'll apply him for the Academy, and if he still shows no signs of developing chakra, then I'll pull him out before it begins."_

(Else ware)

"_God dammit! Why can't I do any jutsu?" thought Naruto. "Hokage-jiji couldn't have lied to me when he said that my dad was the fourth Hokage, could he? All hokages had tons of chakra. How am I going to prove to the villagers that I am a person worthy of respect?_"

As he walked down the street to his apartment, he noticed the people giving him a wide berth.

"At least they don't actively hate me," he muttered under his breath.

He dropped onto his bed and contemplated his life with maturity not seen in children. Naruto began to dream of faceless people cheering him on, as he attacked a huge black dragon with fire jutsu's, but then his jutsu faded away, as his chakra was removed, and the faceless people receded, and he found himself in front of a large hole, the bottom of which could not be seen. Naruto felt himself walk forwards, and fall through the hole.

He landed into a misty forest. Voices called out to him- all whispering the same thing.

"_Asauchi."_

"_Stop it," said Naruto._

"_Asauchi."_

"_Shut up!" Naruto yelled._

"_Summon us."_

"Asauchi!"

Naruto woke up, fully aware that he had just yelled out a random word out during the middle of the night as loudly as he could.

He felt a strange weight in his hand, but as he turned his head, he found himself being drawn into a smoky abyss. He caught a flash of green as he fell into a dreamless sleep.

*The next day*

"Wah!"

Naruto snapped up so quickly that a green and black blur that was in his hand flew forward, through his door, and into his bathroom.

"Aw, shit."

Naruto could have sworn that he heard a whispered, _"Language!"_ in the air.

He hurried forward, eager to see what he had mysteriously obtained, but as soon as he removed the remains of the door whatever it was dissipated in black and green wisps, which then vanished entirely.

"What the hell?" Naruto said, scratching his head.

As he sat, eating his cereal, he pondered what had just happened to him. His muscles all felt a lot more… tensile. They were clearly defined on his scrawny body, and were so large that they looked faintly ridiculous on a 6 year old. Then there was the matter of the strange… thing… that he had thrown and had disappeared into wisps.

"_Wait! Maybe I have to summon it? Kinda like the ol' pervert I always see in the hot springs and his frogs…"_

Unfortunately for Naruto, he had completely forgotten what he had shouted out last night to summon the blasted thing. Pushing the matter aside, he concentrated on the power that he definitely felt coursing through his body. One thing he was certain of- it was definitely not chakra. He had read, in his desperate search for shinobi awesomeness, that you could tell if you had chakra by focusing the energy that you felt into your hand, it should glow with a light blue hue. He tried focusing a little, and it had resulted in a large dark green explosion that had completely ruined his room.

"_Damn... I should probably tell jiji about this…"_

*In the Hokage Tower*

"Jiji, something's wrong."

"Naruto! What's happened?" cried the Hokage, voice full of concern.

"I had some weird dreams last night-"

"_I'm not going to have to give him the talk, am I?" _Thought the elderly Kage.

"-And when I woke up, I found out that I could do this…"

Having said this, he held his hand out face up, and posed a look of concentration on his face.

The Hokage gasped,_ "He's not going to do the Rasengan, is he?!"_

He leaned in closer…

And flew backwards through his desk as a blast of green-black energy smashed him in the face. Paperwork was scattered everywhere. Sarutobi Hiruzen held onto his face and lamented the loss of his neatly ordered paperwork as it flew about the office… and then smiled as he realised that he didn't have to do it.

Immediately after his explosion, Naruto heard a voice.

"_Don't go to the Academy- they cannot train us. Refuse the Academy, and I will train you in the ways of the Shinigami…"_

Shinigami! Thought Naruto. That's… I'm… a God of Death?

"_Yes…"_

"Old man, screw the academy! Sorry about this sudden change of mind, but I suddenly don't want to go to the Academy. I don't have any chakra anyway! See ya!"

He ran out of the office, leaving the Hokage to wander about his sanity.

**Whoosh! 1000 and a bit words!**

**Next up- Naruto returns to the Academy after 6 years of self training… what will he be like?**


	3. Chapter 2

**I'm back! My, wasn't this a quick update?**

**I don't own Naruto or Bleach.**

Timeskip, 6 years to present.

"Shut up!" yelled Iruka at the class. "Today, as most of you will know, is the graduation exam! We will be having 2 students joining us for this exam, as these two have been trained outside of the Academy. Firstly, we have Uchiha Sasuke-"

No sooner than "ke" had been pronounced, a swirl of leaves descended from the ceiling onto the class. This soon became a storm of leaves, and then abruptly vanished to show Uchiha Sasuke sitting behind a desk in the front.

"Mr Uchiha, was that really necessary?"

Sasuke just smirked.

"Fine. And we also have Uzumaki Naruto joining us."

A cloud of smoke slowly expanded from the seat next to Sasuke, and this suddenly defined itself into the shape of Naruto.

Naruto was wearing a black trench coat with green highlights. If his coat had been a different colour, you could be excused for mistaking him for the 4th Hokage.

"Thank you Mr Uzumaki. Anyway, we will now hand out the papers, and at 10am you may open them and you will have until 11am to complete them. Don't worry if you don't even get halfway… it was designed to be very difficult."

At 11 am the papers were collected in. Iruka then announced, "Now for the spars. We will match up everyone who we think have roughly the same level. Because we have never seen you two fight before, we will pair you two together. Is this okay?" he said, directed at Naruto and Sasuke.

They both easily nodded.

The fights went through their own courses. Everyone put up fairly good fights for genin, Naruto noted. He glanced at Sasuke. _"I wonder what his skill level will be."_

Naruto had heard that Sasuke had been personally trained by his brother, the famed Itachi Uchiha, who was the youngest academy graduate, youngest Chunin, Jounin, ANBU and ANBU captain. Rumours say that he participated in the Uchiha Massacre several years ago, even though the official story was that several missing nin had entered the Uchiha district and murdered all but Sasuke and Itachi, who were training else ware at the time.

"_I wonder how he'll match up."_

Soon it was Sasuke and Naruto's turn. They both stepped into the arena. Everyone was crowding to watch, curious about the skills of the two mysterious hotties that had appeared before the exam.

Naruto nodded to Sasuke, who simply inclined his head.

"Hajime!"

Neither of them moved.

Naruto decided to test the waters.

Hado (way of destruction) no. 1: Sho (Thrust)!

A bullet of force flew from his finger, and made a fist size indentation where Sasuke had been a millisecond ago.

"_What was that!?" _Thought Sasuke, _"I didn't sense any chakra output from him, and I'm one of the most skilled sensors in Konoha! Yet clearly, some power was used. He said Way of destruction, number one. Is that some obscure kind of jutsu? How many of them are there? Better turn on my Sharingan, just in case. It should help me to see them better in any case."_

Naruto observed calmly as Sasuke's eyes began to bleed red, as the onyx slowly mutated into 3 tomoes.

"Three tomoes already? I'm actually quite impressed Sasuke- I don't get impressed easily." Said Naruto.

"You're too kind." Replied Sasuke. He launched himself at Naruto, and executed a flawless spin kick, which was blocked by Naruto's arm. He twisted himself around in mid-air, and launched his other foot at Naruto's face. Naruto ducked under this, and aimed for an uppercut to Sasuke's chin. Sasuke pushed off his fist and jumped back a few meters.

"I know that you can shunshin, Sasuke," said Naruto, "but I think that my speed technique is better."

With this, Naruto sent a burst of reiatsu (not that anyone could tell) to his feet, and simply disappeared from view.

"I call it Shunpo (flash step)", said Naruto conversationally from behind Sasuke.

Sasuke's eyes widened, and shunshined to the other side of the arena.

"I can't believe that you're making me use this, Naruto," said Sasuke. "But be warned- I am being trained by one of the best Kenjutsu masters to live."

"Oh?" said Naruto, his interest piqued.

He watched as Sasuke drew a sword slowly from a hidden sheath and gave it a few experimental twirls. Naruto's smile broadened.

"Very nice Sasuke. But I must warn you- I am _the _bes-"

Sasuke disappeared, and sliced at Naruto's torso with his brother's treasured tanto- and…

Naruto caught it. _Naruto caught it?! This is turning out to be much more surprising than I had thought._

"How rude Sasuke. As I was saying, I am the best swordsman in the living world."

"How can that be? I don't see a sword on you."

"Not yet. _Yaiba! _(blade)" Naruto called out.

Thin strips of black and green smoke curled from nowhere into his awaiting hand. They solidified to form a beautiful katana, all black except for the green diamonds inlaid in the handle.

"This, Sasuke, is my zanpaktou."

_Soul Cutter? _Sasuke wondered. _I should probably drop my weights._

Just as Sasuke released his weights, Naruto disappeared in a slight buzz. He reappeared over Sasuke's head, swinging down.

_Holy shit! _Thought Sasuke. _He has a lot of force behind this-_

And that was when the floor beneath then cracked and broke. Sasuke and Naruto disengaged, but then raised their blades to-

"Times up…" said a slack jawed Iruka. _They definitely showed a lot more skill than most jounin in taijutsu and kenjutsu- their speed techniques are incredible, but not a great deal of ninjutsu was shown._

Naruto's blade disappeared and Sasuke's blade went back into their sheath as they bowed to each other.

Naruto: _"Sasuke has a great deal of potential. I might need to pull some strings to get him onto my team…"_

Sasuke: _"WTF!? What is this BS? Naruto is so overpowered! Man, I need him on my team so that we can spar again… Maybe he could teach me some of his moves?"_

"Now for the next test…" said Iruka, still stunned by the skill that the two 12 year olds had shown. "Mr Uzumaki, you are excused from this section."

"Arigatou, Iruka-san."

Naruto shunpoed out of the Academy, and hurried to the Hokage Tower to pull some strings.

**Booyah! 2 chapter finished. Sasuke is very different from canon, as he has a supportive older brother with him this time. Yep, Sasuke is a good dude this time. Itachi did indeed massacre the Uchiha clan to prevent rebellion, but he wasn't revealed as the culprit. Will I keep team 7 the same? Or will I change it? Read on to find out!**


	4. Chapter 3

**I'm back. Yay.**

**I don't own Naruto or Bleach, ya fool! (Sasuke and Naruto can't be rookie of the year- they only just got there! It's based on year wide scores for this fanfic.) Also, Sakura's gonna be many times more powerful than she was in the canon… although that's not really saying much, is it?**

"Rookie kunoichi of the year goes to Haruno Sakura, and Rookie shinobi of the year goes to… Shino Aburame. Congratulations you two. Everyone who passed is on this list- and for those who didn't pass, better luck next year."

There was a scramble to see who was on the list. People who weren't on it walked dejectedly away.

"Okay, settle down, everyone who passed. Congrats again, and now SHUT UP!"

The room settled down.

"Good. I will now read out the teams. Team 1 is…"

*snooze*

"Team 7 is Naruto Uzumaki-"

A slight acknowledgement, shown by the tilting of the head.

"Uchiha Sasuke-"

Sasuke smirked, and was secretly having a party in his head that he was on the same team as a strong person.

"And… Haruno Sakura."

A wide smile was shown here.

*snooze* (yeah, the other teams are just like what they are in the canon, but I honestly can't be bothered to write it down. I know I'm lazy.)

So it came to be that Team 7, to be tutored (tortured?) under Kakashi Hatake, was waiting in the classroom for their sensei. Instead of being stony with each other, however, they all started sharing training stories and tips. Thus, this is what Kakashi came upon as he came to collect them 2 hours later.

"-and I swear, a giant squirrel was holding me down, and it was _going _to have its way with me, but I managed to push it off and high-tail it back to Kono- Hi sensei!" said Naruto.

"Meet me on the roof," Kakashi tried to say in the most menacing way possible. Then he vanished in a shunshin onto the roof, and lay down to await 3 panting children 10 minutes later. As soon as he lay down, however, he gasped as one girl, and 2 ridiculously overweight boys bulldozed his way onto his stomach.

"Sorry sensei, our accuracy with the shunshin is slightly off. Oh sorry, did we forget to take off our weights? Oh man, I can't find the release catch- oh there it is!"

The weight on Kakashi increased 4 fold.

"Oops! Wrong catch. Don't be late again."

The annoying as hell genins moved off their poor beleaguered sensei and sat down on the ground. Kakashi, gasping for breath, struggled to say, "Please *huff* talk about yourself *huff*."

None of them said anything.

"If you don't say anything, I will be forced to go by the assumption that all of you have been raped by a giant squirre-"

"I'm Sakura Haruno. I like medical jutsu and chakra weighted fists. I hate tardy people with grey hair. My dream is to meet Tsunade, bitch-slap her and then study under her."

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like my sword, and my Kido (raised eyebrow from Kakashi). I dislike jounins who read Icha Icha all the time. My dream is to… achieve final release. (Kakashi's single eybrow is raised even higher)."

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I like my sword as well, and my ninjutsu. I dislike people with implanted Sharingan eyes, and who have eye smiles. My goal is to surpass my brother some day."

_Great. _Kakashi thought. _I have 3 genin who already hate me, but are all really promising. I've got my work all cut out for me._

"Great. Your revenge was cunning and effective. Be at training ground 7 at 7 am sharp. Be prepared for battle which has a 66% chance of landing you back in the academy. That is all. Oh yeah! I advise that you don't eat breakfast- you might not be able to hold it in."

Kakaashi, then tried to shunshin to his house, but then ran out of breath halfway there, having remembered that he had recently been sat on by some people and some weights.

_Just who the hell are these kids? _

He'd have to do some proper recon.

Back on the roof, the three shared a high five.

"I think our message got across quite clearly." Said Naruto.

"Anyone up for lunch? I'll treat!" interjected Sakura.

10 minutes later, at the Ichiraku Ramen Stand.

"So, shall we say our proper introductions here?"

"I'll go first!" said Sakura. "I live in the south region of Konoha. I luckily still have both of my parents. They're both shopkeepers, but are both very supportive of my ninja career. From Monday to Friday I normally go to the Academy, but obviously that's going to change now. After that I normally go to train for a couple of hours, either in my back yard, or practice medical ninjutsu in the hospital. On the weekends I train for a bit, and generally go out and socialise with my former friend Ino."

"Former friend?" inquired Sasuke and Naruto.

"We had a disagreement about training times. She thinks that I do too much, but I think that she needs to get a realistic outtake on shinobi life. What else? Oh yeah. I train about 4 hours a day from Mondays to Fridays. I spend Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at the hospital, and people say that I am a prodigy in medical jutsu. The other times, I refine and increase my chakra capacity. On the weekends, I generally take a break from physical training and study up hard on jutsu and indulge on the history of the Elemental Nations. What about you two?"

"I'll go next," said Sasuke. "I live in the Uchiha District, just north of the Hokage Tower. I… don't have any relatives left except my brother Itachi. I didn't go to the Academy because Itachi wanted to train me in the specialised Uchiha arts. We spend an hour a day training our Sharingan to increase our chakra capacity. I spend pretty much all of my time training in kenjutsu, taijutsu and ninjutsu. I am very skilled in kenjutsu, speed techniques, and have a very large chakra capacity. My chakra affinities are fire and lightening. When I do relax, I like to make onigiri and plant tomatos."

"Nice! Onto me," said Naruto. "Well, the first thing you should know is that I have no chakra _at all!_"

"What?" exclaimed Sakura. "I was taught that all living beings required chakra to function! Also, how can you be a ninja?"

"Meh, living is overrated," Naruto stated. "Also, Rock Lee, my noisy and youthful-"

A single cry of youthful erupted from the forest of Death, where Rock Lee and Maito Guy were carrying boulders with their feet and were walking around on handstands.

"-friend is a hakuda specialised ninja."

"Living is overrated?" squawked Sasuke. "Also, what the hell is Hakuda?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. Hakuda is what my crazy hermit sensei Urahara calls taijutsu. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! I live in an apartment just to the east of the Uchiha District. I used to live outside Konoha, actually, in the forests, where I was trained by a very eccentric god of death who was ordered to train me by their king."

At this, Sasuke and Sakura burst out laughing.

"Fine, don't believe me. Anyway, he was recalled due to an emergency in his dimension, and I came back to Konoha a while ago. Since then, I've been catching up with everything, and training my socks off. Literally, I've had to buy so many new socks and jackets because I couldn't get my speed techniques down. In my free time, I like to polish my sword, who is called Unmeichenja (Fate Changer), and meditate."

By this point everyone had finished their ramen and was raring to prepare for the test. They said their goodbyes, and left, but not before sitting one last time on their sensei who was spying on them from a tree.

"OOOHH, my balls…" huffed Kakashi, as he was left there, wondering how the hell they had detected him, an ANBU captain, in the first place.

**Yipee! 3****rd**** chapter done. Also, please review! I don't care about the nature of the reviews as long as they aren't purposefully hateful.**

**Also please tell me whether I should post shorter and faster chapters, or longer and slower chapters? I also have a quite sporadic internet connection.**

**Thanks to the 40 viewers who got to chapter 2 by the way!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Sorry for the delay- here's a prebaked chapter. Why is it so late, I hear you ask? Well, being the klutz that I am, I broke my wrist while moving a piano. Nice. Here's a pre-written chapter.**

**Yipee! Chapter 4 is up! Now, for the bell test!**

**I don't own Naruto or Bleach.**

At 7am on the dot, Kakashi arrived at Training Ground 7 to meet his demon-like, horibb- oh sorry. I mean adorable, wonderful soon-to-probably-not-be students.

"The task that you have today is simple. You are to collect the 2 bells on my waist here-"

He indicated the bells on his waist, clipped on by a bit of string.

"When the alarm clock rings, anybody who has a bell will be in Team 7. Those that don't, will be sent back to the academy for remedial training. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir!" the genin replied.

"You can begin when the clock reaches 7:30."

As soon as the second hand ticked to the 12 symbol, the 3 genin… didn't move.

_What the hell? _Thought Kakashi.

The three genin then huddled up and began to discuss… what sounded like porn?

"I'll tie Kakashi up first, and then rip off all his-"

Kakashi stood there, transfixed by Naruto's intense description of his rape. (I don't condone rape, by the way.)

Meanwhile, a kilometre away.

"Sakura, are you sure that you've distracted him successfully?"

"Oh yes. I've set up a genjutsu that will definitely take him by surprise."

"Itachi warned me he might do this. It's going to be a test of teamwork- we have to get the bells, or at least try to get them with teamwork. As long as we stick together, we will pass this test."

"Nice work, Sakura, Sasuke. So, our plan will go like this…"

10 minutes later

The elaborate genjutsu faded, just as Sasuke was just about to recount a wet dream about Kakashi. He then broke out of his stupor. Looking down, he saw that the bells were still there. He soon became aware of a sword that was red and decorated with black tomoes (Sasuke's) slashing down to his testicles.

_Fast! _Kakashi thought.

He quickly jumped away from the genin.

_That was a ridiculously fast slash from a genin. At least approaching jounin speed, if not there already. Then again, he has been trained by Itachi. I should be on the lookout for more skills of his._

He then pulled out his trusty tanto- which he hadn't really used in battle since ANBU, and blocked the slash from behind.

_Awww yeah. I still got it. Sasuke's shunshin is impressively fast, but at least I can track it._

Not many people knew it, but a shunshin was composed of expanding chakra from behind a person, and making a vacuum of chakra in your path. This pulled and pushed you along. If you hadn't saturated the area with chakra, it was very easy for someone to know where you were headed in your shunshin, as long as you had a fine sense of chakra.

Kakashi was smug inside as he slashed and hacked gracefully at Sasuke. _Goes to show that I still got my stuff. _

Several shuriken exploded out of the bushes and expertly swerved into his neck, decapitating him.

"Wow. I didn't even need to get involved-" said Naruto as he landed lightly close to Sasuke.

"Naruto! Watch out!" cried Sasuke.

(A/N: Don't forget that Naruto has been out of Konoha for quite some time, and likely has no idea about the Kawarimi technique.)

"Wha- _Yaiba!_" Naruto's blade came into existence in his hand just in time to block Kakashi's thrust at his back (I later realised how sensual this sounded.).

While Naruto and Kakashi were in a deadlock, Naruto extended a hand, almost casually, and said:

"_Bakudo number 30- Shitotsu Sansen!_"

3 nails of light, connected by thin stings of light, nailed Kakashi to a tree, by means of his balls and his arms.

_What the hell? _Thought Kakashi. "_Bakudo? Way of Binding? Is this even an elemental jutsu? More importantly, how to hell do I get out of it? Aha. I'm pinned to a tree, so If I just destroy the tree…_"

Meanwhile

"Woah! What the hell was that? I definitely saw the shuriken decapitate him!"

"Er Naruto? Have you never heard about the Kawarimi technique before?" inquired Sasuke.

"The Body replacement technique? Does it allow you to sustain a life threatening wound and then change your body with a log, because that seems really overpowered, and I've seen some overpowered people in my time."

"No! Gosh, that would be an amazing technique. It allows you to perform a split second genjutsu of your body taking the damage, but this has to be premeditated- you have to know the attack is coming beforehand, and then you speedily replace your body with something that is of similar weight to "take" the damage that you would have. It's actually quite confus- GET DOWN!"

They both hit the ground, and a brace of shuriken and kunai thumped into the ground behind them. Kakashi kept up the barrage, then abruptly shunshinned behind the 2 who were still deflecting the barrage.

Naruto's eyes widened. He could get out of there, but Sasuke was too distracted by the flying weapons to notice.

_Damn. _He thought. _I didn't want to have to use this so early! Like literally, I on my second fight back. I don't have time to use Severing void, or another bakudo. Ah well, here goes._

"Potaru Unmei Chenja! (Portal, Fate Changer!)" Naruto shouted, spinning his sword in a full circle. A black smoky outline was drawn in the air, which flashed once, and became black. Another circle appeared behind him. All of a sudden, the weapons passed through the portal, and out the other one. Kakashi was completely taken back, and was thus pinned to another tree, which was completely demolished by Sakura, whose hands were glowing a fierce blue. When it became apparent that Kakashi wasn't caught in the blast, her hands changed to a light green colour, which turned a darker green as she increased the flow of chakra.

_Chakra Scalpels!? _Kakashi gasped internally. _This team is off the charts. All of them could take the Chunin Exam and pass it with flying colours right now!_

The clock suddenly buzzed.

"Haha suckers!" Shouted Kakashi. "Oh wait… er I mean beloved genin, you have failed, for I still have my bells on my… where the hell are they?"

"Hmph."grunted Sasuke. "We got them while you were slack-jawed at our dirty stories. It was just a matter of keeping you distracted long enough for you not to notice that it was a fake genjutsu bell."

_Haha! _Kakashi internally vocalised. _No-one has ever gotten past this part. Then I can fail them, and go back to Icha Icha!_

"So…"Kakashi said, "who's going back to the academy?"

As Kakashi said this, he suddenly became aware that this was the most talented team out there by a billion miles, and could probably take on a sannin if they had to.

"Actually, screw that. You all passed. Yadda yadda yadda teamwork, blah blah blah helping each other. You're all mine! And, considering how you were all talking about how much you all wanted to have sex with me, you shouldn't have much doubt!"

The trio looked at each other.

"Yay?" Sasuke said uncertainly.

**And…Cut!**

**That's Chapter 4 done and dusted!**


End file.
